Salaam
by rabbitarmy
Summary: Alai and Ender say goodbye


Alai slept at the foot of Ender's bed, he had run to follow the younger boy to his room immediately after the final battle. Ender had screamed and kicked and Alai tried his best to calm him, but to no avail. Graff had then tiredly ordered for Ender to be sedated. Ender slept for three days, and Alai stayed with him for two, refusing to leave Ender's side. But then Alai fell asleep, and he was carried back to his own room without waking.

* * *

Ender wakes up alone, with a heavy heart and tired eyes. For two weeks no one enters his room, he speaks to no one. They give him food and water by leaving a tray outside his door. He sleeps little, for when he does sleep he has strange and terrifying dreams, dreams that he can't even begin to describe. It's as if someone is to trying to tell him something, but can only explain it to him through images that move too fast and are overwhelming to the senses. He thinks about what he has done, how many have died, and he cycles through feelings of intense grief, anger, and pain. Saying goodbye to his friends only makes it worse.

There are only two people in the whole universe Ender wants to see. Alai and Valentine. Of course, Val is down on Earth and he stranded on a strange and foreign planet so many miles away. So it is Alai that finally comes to see him, but he is the last of his friends to say goodbye before they are sent back home.

Ender is in the midst of a terrible nightmare. Cold sweat covers his body, causing his clothes to stick to him. He twists his legs around the thin sheets of his bed, crying out to make the images stop. Gentle, warm hands wake him, and Ender finds himself staring into soft brown eyes that have seen their share of pain and suffering. Alai.

"Salaam, Ender." he says, managing a small smile. Ender dismisses the smile, for he knows Alai, like him, still grieves for the Formics. Instead Ender focuses on one word. _Salaam. _It still has so much meaning to him even after all this time. Ender grew up in a world full of lies, where every word really meant something else. _Salaam_. But this word means one thing. It is peace. It is the hope for a better future, a future where people can have the freedom to practice their own religion, a future where the world is not fighting. It is a secret, a hidden religion in a time without them. In this way it is a promise. A promise that Alai and Ender will always have each other, because they are bonded by this word. _Salaam. Peace._

Ender doesn't know what to say. He is lost in a sea of thoughts and emotions. The familiar sight of Alai is almost too powerful, and it pains Ender to see the same sadness in Alai's eyes that he sees in his own. His eyes begin to fill with tears, and before they come spilling out, Alai embraces Ender, pulling him close as if he's protecting him from all of his guilt and grief. At first Ender moves away from the touch, for him comfort is always unexpected. But this is Alai, one of Ender's closest friends. Alai, the ever faithful and gentle companion. He leans into Alai's shoulder, and is reluctantly grateful.

They stay like that for a while, Ender's tears soaking into Alai's shoulder, and Alai secretly shedding a few tears himself. When Ender finally pulls away, they are quiet again, lost for words. Alai is the first to speak.

"We're being sent home tomorrow," he says. Ender knows this already. He inclines his head.

"I'll miss you," Ender says quietly.

Alai moves closer to Ender, placing a soothing hand on his cheek. He leans his head in towards Ender, kissing full him on the mouth. This surprises Ender, and his eyes widen in shock. He starts to pull away, because after his fight with Bonzo, Ender doesn't like to be touched without fair warning. But Alai is so gentle about the kiss, and so earnest. Ender has never kissed anyone before. He can feel Alai's hand shaking in the slightest way against his cheek. Alai has never kissed anyone before either, Ender realizes. Of course he hasn't. He shuts his eyes and leans his cheek into Alai's hand. Their kiss is simple, but it has so much meaning. It is Alai's goodbye.

The finally break the kiss, sucking in air, because both of them were holding their breaths.

They stare at each other, a sharing first look of bewilderment, but then understanding passes between them. Alai squeezes Ender's hand. Then he slowly makes his way to the door, pausing and turning back towards Ender before opening it.

"So this is it?" Ender asks. "This is goodbye?" He doesn't want to believe it to be true. Alai smiles.

"I'm sure we will meet again some day, my friend," he responds.

"Salaam, Alai." Ender says.

"Salaam, Ender." Alai replies. "Good luck."

After he leaves Ender still faces the door, watching it as if waiting for Alai to come back. He doesn't return. Ender crawls back into bed, staring at the ceiling now.

"_Salaam_," he whispers.

Ender sleeps peacefully that night.


End file.
